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[15 Oct 2008|03:26am] |
How different life is here in Chicago than back at home. It's one of the most active cities I've ever been and even now at 3 in the morning I could hear cars rushing past my window, the familiar sound of laughter of people walking the streets, and the occasional faint sound of shouting that comes from my neighbors who love fighting in the middle of the night. It's preposterous, really but being here makes me miss the simple life I once had. Yes, my father was rarely home due to the fact that our home reminded him too much of my deceased mother, immersing himself in work. But despite that fact, and despite the fact that he often left me on my own majority of the time, I miss his infrequent company. I miss the fact that I could drive out even at the middle of the night to Taco Bell, just to grab a bite to eat and the streets would be as dead as the night. I miss actually driving a car, I even miss having one lock on my door and never having to worry about prowlers and muggers. Life alone, though it's not like I'm unfamiliar with that, is different when you're truly alone in your own apartment. There are so many things I miss about life back at home, but there is always a need to move forward than to remain stagnant in one's comfort zone. So, here I am. I've moved forward and ready to seize the day. Carpe Diem, anyone?
Though there are so much I'm still unfamiliar with in Chicago, I can't help but slowly love the city. I have no car; seeing as it's pretty stupid with the traffic that goes on daily and I'd rather not be in a fight with a cab driver, but public transportation is easy to come by in the city and I've loved riding the subway to the university. I especially love my apartment, it's comfortable and cozy, roomy enough for me and Adam but not too big that it would make it difficult to straighten out. And an added bonus? Pets are allowed, so Shadow had joined me in my new life. For possibly the longest time, I've dreamed of going to University of Chicago; I can even recall the memories of my mother recounting all her years in this school. The park-like expansion, the beautiful buildings that made it seem like you were in a different world. It had failed to disappoint. The moment my eyes laid on the university, it had taken my breath away and I've considered myself lucky (or is it blessed?) to be able to study in the same school as my mother had. Truth be told, even if she had passed away so long ago, I still miss her and I often find myself thinking of her, especially when I'm alone at night and I can see her picture on my bedside table smiling up at me.
All these years I can remember how much her death impacted our family; leaving us all slightly different than who we were. But death does that to you. There were the times when I've neglected studies and chose to live a lifestyle so differently that it surprised some people. In that time, I found out who my true friends were. I've fallen in love, and fallen out of it. There had been so many changes in my life, some for the good and some for the bad. But over the years, you learn to live with the mistakes you've had. I'd like to think that the experience now had made me grow into a better person, but we'll see, won't we?
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![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) macvarish |
[14 Oct 2008|07:54am] |
I just don't know what it was, and I don't know whence it came. All albatross fighting like a buzz saw and calling my name I just don't know what it was, and I don't know when it came. An albatross fighting like a buzz saw and calling my name And we were waiting on the back foot, waiting on the back foot, waiting for the monster to drown. I don't know why I was scared; I've got the power of speech. And all the threats and the violence in the world couldn't make me impeach. I don't know why I was scared; I've got the power of speech and all the threats and violence in the world couldn't make me impeach
      
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